Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Google street view – best stalking tool ever.

Hey, it’s in Penn! I know that’s you, Matt Dean.

i have one word. bittorrent.

Ruminations on running into your past

After telling a wonderful new friend (well, 6 months old at least) about the many ex-boy troubles of my life,  I finally feel like I’m almost ready to let go.

What I finally, finally realized is that people in your life come and go.  They run their course in your life, just like a hairstyle, like the 70’s, like Trapper Keepers and John Hughes movies.  When they’re gone, yes, it’s especially hard when it’s not really your choice or fault they are leaving, but it’s like anything that has its expiration date.  Some things just get chunky when they’re in the fridge too long.

I guess when I think something is worth saving I’ll keep that expiring cream for coffee in the fridge for way, way past its expiration date.  I just never want to give up on the poor thing.  And, well,  I never want to admit that I was wrong.

Sometimes, though, it’s helpful to take a look around and recognize what you’ve got.  Find love in unexpected places, in old situations and new insights.  To remember what it was like, that first night.  Telling someone else makes it that much more real when it’s still there, caressing your forehead when you’re sick. Kissing you every morning- 3 years running- when you wake up.  Feeling that invisible cushion around your cynicism, and your self-esteem (they’re situated right next to each other) grow thicker and fluffier and fuller every day.  And each day is better than the last, and some days aren’t great, but you have arms at home, waiting, that want to make it better.  It helps when you run into someone whose arms were never waiting for you.

The perfect shoe to go with the Lego outfit

Even the Balenciaga label doesn’t help this one out much, but I bet they would go PERFECTLY with the Lego outfits!!   haha

LEGO Fashion!

Can I have the one in the middle?

Designer Jean Charles de Castelbajac made this rockin’ LEGO collection- AND he has an iGoogle theme.  Sweet!

:)

The end to all my debt problems!

I’ll just wear this sign!

10 Things I Don’t Want to Be When I Grow Up

Did you ever see that movie “10 Things I Hate About You”? There’s a scene in it where Heath Ledger (sniff) is practically stalking Julia Stiles and he says, “Excuse me, have you seen The Feminine Mystique? I’ve lost my copy.”

Well I love that movie, and ever since I saw it way back when, I’ve wanted to read the Feminine Mystique, so I finally hopped over to my public library and found a copy. I’m only partway through but this phrase jumped out at me:

What if the terror a girl faces at twenty-one, when she must decide who she will be, is simply the terror of growing up- growing up, as women were not permitted to grow before? What if the terror a girl faces at twenty-one is the terror of freedom to decide her own life, with no one to order which path she will take, the freedom and the necessity to take paths women before were not able to take? What if those who choose the path of “feminine adjustment”- evading this terror by marrying at eighteen, losing themselves in having babies and the details of housekeeping- are simply refusing to grow up, to face the question of their own identity?

She goes on to say that men are championed when they fulfill this identity crisis- when they go on to become Abraham Lincolns or Martin Luther Kings. They too have to spend the time figuring out where they want their lives to go, but at the time this book was written, most men still had towering role models.

This raises an interesting question. Who are our role models now?

If you could grow up to be like anyone, who would it be?

The obvious answer right now, for Americans at least, is Barack Obama. He certainly has the potential to become another American hero, but time will tell, once he’s in office.

For me, (and admittedly I’m a mixed race yuppie who both worked hard to get where I am, but was also given a financial stepping stone to go to college) I can’t truly call him a role model. Admirable, yes, but I don’t want to be the first woman president. I don’t want to be a lawyer or go to Harvard or anything else that he did.

I used to look up to Maya Angelou, and then she sold out to Hallmark. I used to look up to Audre Lorde but she’s just angry most of the time.

So what happens to your typical young urban working girl, then? My future seems like a cut-out: she goes to college, falls in love, moves to the big city with her boyfriend and a cat, gets a crappy job, gets another crappy job but slightly better than the last, gets a fantastic job.

Now what?

This is where things start getting scary. My role model pickings are slim: Madonna? No, too creepy. Hilary Clinton? Not me at all. But, this post isn’t meant to be all about me. It speaks to the larger American girl audience. Who do we have to look up to besides the Britneys and the Paris Hiltons? We’re given glossy pictures of Botoxed bimbos, with smooth skin, shiny, full hair and sparkling eyes. Bodies almost unachieveable in nature. We’re given a picture of a woman without any soul or substance. Even the covers of women’s magazines promise glory through sex and ‘making him go wild’, through perfect hair and skin, through kitschy little art projects.

Even the counterculture ‘role models’ if you can call them that, are nonexistant. Brightly colored hair and dark makeup don’t hide the lack of substance within. ‘Rockers’ just want anonymity like everyone else. Celebrities don’t want to be role models, they want attention.

The saddest and most frustrating part of all this is that even the so-called intelligent women of today aren’t something to look up to. Nancy Pelosi can wear a cute suit and get great approval ratings but she can’t stand up for the section of the country she’s supposed to represent to stop the war in Iraq. The newest authors just vomit words out of their mouth like pray, soul, depression, anxiety, love, compassion, healing, without actually BEING any of the words they write. They write to sell. Ours is a culture of money. Money fuels the glossy spreads, the teenage drivel novel, the politics.

I’m being my words. I’m frustrated. I’m disheartened.

Isn’t there anyone out there worth looking up to?

They tell you in SAT prep classes that eliminating choices helps you get closer to the answer. So here it is, 10 Things I DON’T Want to Be When I Grow Up:

1. Lawyer

2. Doctor

3. Administrative anything

4. Bored Housewife

5. Celebrity

6. On painkillers, crack, meth, or other shiteous drugs

7. Hermit

8. Crappy author (I could handle being an author, but I can’t just write drivel to sell to the masses)

9. Boring

10. Elitist Intellectual

So now that I have 10 out of the way, please excuse me, I have about a squillion more things left.

omg, puppycam

Best viral link of the year!  How does it get better than a live camera on some puppies?  Best way to not work EVER.

Oh wait… is IS my job to find crap like this. Firefighters like puppies, right?  And think about firefighters with puppies.  Makes my heart (and my pupils) smile.  Newest best viral of the year!

Click here to see some super cute puppycam goodness!